Because this is Holy Week, the Gospel reading today is a very well-known one: Jesus is reclining at table with his disciples during the Passover meal, and he initiates what is to come: that one of his beloved followers will soon betray him, and that he will be handed over, tortured, and crucified. And as much as Judas denies this betrayal and as much as the other disciples swear to stand by Jesus, we all know how the story goes. Judas betrays, the others abandon. The story seems to lost all hope. Luckily for us, we have about 2,000 years of experience to know that this was NOT the end of the story, but the beginning. After the deepest experience of rejection comes the most profound experience of rebirth and new life. And that's what makes the tough stuff so much more bearable.
I really like the first reading, too. It's taken from Isaiah, and the author is speaking to the great mercy and presence of God. "The Lord called me from birth, from my mother's womb he called me by name." How beautiful! We are a part of God's heart from our very beginnings. In fact, even before we are born...we are His. I would argue that Judas also held this beautiful title, even if he didn't know it or appreciate it. God loves us all so deeply, that it doesn't matter what we do because it can never separate us from that love. We can be nothing short of angels or the worst betrayer, but we are all equally perfect in God's eyes.
Though I thought I had toiled in vain,
and for nothing, uselessly, spent my strength,
Yet my reward is with the Lord,
my recompense is with my God.
This reminds me of the road to Emmaus. The disciples "thought" that Jesus had been the one to redeem Israel, but their hope had left them. The prophet Isaiah thought that his pain and suffering was for nothing. The disciples thought that Jesus was dead. They thought that it had all become useless. Yet...there is more to the story. My roommate gave me an inspirational quote that paraphrases something like this: "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it turned into a butterfly." What an amazing idea. It is at our lowest point, the dark nights of the soul, where God swoops in and takes over. It's only when we cannot do it anymore on our own that the Spirit rushes in.
There's something great about God taking over at the last second, like a final surprise act. If God had just taken over from the beginning, I feel like we would lose a lot of our gratitude. We wouldn't realize everything that God has done for us, and the message would get messed up. We would then EXPECT God to do everything so that we didn't have to. But no. We have to be willing to work and sacrifice and suffer a little bit, so that God can save us from that suffering. Some people may find that crazy, and I would never justify evil acts so that people can "learn valuable lessons" about the ways of the world. But I love how God lets us experience a little bit of our own humanity before making all things new. It enables us to grow without even knowing it. Now that's a good teacher.
Keep enjoying Holy Week. Be open to the workings of the Spirit.
Peace,
Liz
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