I admit that the following reflection is not completely my own, but rather a reflection based on another blog that I just read: Feminist Theology in an Age of Fear and Hope. I love reading those women's blogs because they so often speak to the sittings in my own heart. That being said...
Today's readings are not what the Church has deemed as today's readings, but I'm reflecting on them anyway. They're subsequent reflections on the Resurrection story. The first reading is that rallying speech given by Peter to the potential converts. He really speaks from his heart, and it's one of my favorite moments for Peter because he seems to be redeeming himself after his initial betrayal. This is where we see the Peter whom the Church has raised to sainthood, the Peter who is credited with being the first Pope (depending on your interpretation, naturally.) And he's smart, too: he references David, which most likely won over tons of Jews because David was a bit of a Jewish rockstar in Old Testament scripture. And although in my previous post, I admitted to struggling with the question of numbers, I do like this passage because it reads as a positive speech to me. Yes, it ends with tons of people being "added" to the cause, but I know that it goes deeper than that. Peter sincerely hopes for the future, and he also sincerely believes that Jesus will be coming back fairly soon. Well, Jesus didn't come back, but it hasn't stopped two-thousand years of hopeful followers from spreading His message. And you know, it doesn't always have to be in the way that Peter did it. I spread Jesus' message through sacrament prep, service trips, and youth outreach. Peter spread it through riveting speeches and emotional testimonies. Different people do it different ways, and that's fine with me. Now, I worry about the extremists who use scare tactics and intimidation to spread Christianity...but that's a post for another time.
The feminist theologians got me thinking about another aspect of the readings: both the Acts reading and the Psalm (16) are really focused on strengthening faith and staying strong amidst danger and opposition. Well, that's all well and good...except the Gospel does the exact opposite! It's the story of Doubting Thomas, who insisted on seeing proof that Jesus was alive. I know of a lot of people who criticize and mock Thomas because of his lack of faith, but in reality...isn't that what the spiritual journey is all about? My theological education and personal life experience have given me the mindset that without doubt, there can be no faith. Without uncertainty, there can be no conversion and transformation. So, really, Thomas is just being honest. He's recognizing his own human limitation and admitting that he isn't so sure about the Resurrection. And to be honest, I agree with him. First century Jews did not believe in resurrection of the body (who does, anyway?) so the idea of Jesus being raised from the dead was as incredulous then as it would be today.
I like Thomas. I like him because he's real. He knows that he isn't perfect, and he isn't even the first one to admit doubt about the Resurrection. I can relate to him because my own faith life has been colored by doubt for years. I know that I am a believer in God, and that the power of Jesus to heal and change hearts is very near and dear to my heart. But there are lots of things in scripture and tradition and don't really fit into my picture of spiritual truth. Was Mary really a virgin AFTER she gave birth to Jesus? And in the grand scheme of things...does that really matter? Is transubstantiation a legitimate experience, or is it the product of faulty interpretation? How come some evangelicals argue for a literal interpretation of the Bible, but don't believe that Jesus literally became the bread and wine at the last Passover? Is Jesus really the only way to get into heaven? What is heaven, exactly? Is it possible to spend eternity without God, when God is in all things? (That's the Jesuit in me.)
See! Lots of doubts. But does that make me a bad Christian? Well, some would argue yes. But I would argue that I'm simply an educated woman living in 21st century America, and it's impossible not to have questions about a faith as ancient as Christianity. So, Doubting Thomas, fear not. I don't hate you, and neither does Jesus.
Hebrews 11:1 says that faith is the "assurance of what we hope for and the certainty of what we do not see." I would love to have that faith. But since I'm not there yet, I need to just keep believing and keep trying. I have the assurance that I am deeply loved by God, and that's really the only thing I need to know right now. As for all the other questions...maybe one day they'll make sense. And then maybe I'll never figure them out. I'm really okay with it.
Peace.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Any Other Road
In honor of my favorite Bible passage today, I am going to post this guided meditation that I used for my youth group on Sunday. It's based on today's reading: Luke 24:13-35, the Road to Emmaus. If you're unfamiliar with the passage, please read it first before continuing with the meditation...
Guided Meditation (not mine!)
It looks like any other road
this road that we are walking today.
I invite you to close your eyes
sit up straight with your feet on the floor,
be comfortable.
Breathe in deeply, and out slowly.
Do you see the road?
What kind of road is it?
What do you see?
What do you hear?
Are there other people on the road?
What is the weather like?
How fast do you want to walk today?
Leave the city, one foot in front of the other,
sandals patting down dust,
even as grief washes from head to toe.
Nothing went the way we thought.
And today's news is even more unbelievable than last week's.
alive?
is it possible?
why can't I see him?
One foot in front of the other,
walking home,
on just another road,
any road - it doesn't matter now.
Nothing matters - no journey will ever be the same without him.
but where is he?
Just another road,
like any other road.
Can you see it?
One foot in front of the other,
on the road again,
but alone this time.
A stranger comes alongside you.
Do you talk to strangers?
He walks near you for a ways,
in comfortable silence...
and then asks the question:
what are you thinking about?
What will you tell him?
What are you thinking about?
It's been an amazing three years -
healings,
miracles,
parables,
feeding people,
restoring community,
telling stories,
loving outcasts.
Which story to tell?
Think of your favorite story about Jesus.
Tell is to this stranger as you walk along this dusty road,
one foot in front of the other.
...
This stranger listens well,
he asks questions,
he nods in all the right places,
and he can tell that the story makes you both excited and sad.
As you finish telling your story,
you mention that it doesn't make much sense.
Things seemed to be going so well until that last night,
that last dinner,
that Passover Party.
That's when the real questions began.
Sure, other things didn't always make sense...
but broken body, life poured out,
arrested,
beaten,
crucified,
killed...
and now alive again?
...
The stranger looks at you as you walk down the road,
thinking out loud.
What are your questions?
Keep wondering out loud together as you walk,
one foot in front of the other,
through the dust,
wondering.
...
As you come to the end of your questions,
your voice trails off
and both of you stare down the road,
walking slowly together.
Then this stranger begins to tell a story of his own...
but it's a story you know well,
except this time it begins to make a little bit of sense.
Just a little bit.
Grief and confusion are still there,
but now there's something new...
something warm...
something blooming in the desert.
Listen -
what story is he telling you?
...
As he finishes his story,
you look up and realize you're almost home.
You've just met this strange man,
this storyteller,
this listener,
this fellow traveler,
but you invite him in for dinner.
There's something about him...
As you sit down at the table,
he offers thanks for a journey safely completed,
for new friends,
for hospitality,
for a simple meal of bread and cheese.
and as he takes some bread and offers you a piece,
you see.
He's been with you all along,
transforming the journey,
making it part of the story,
part of God's story,
part of our journey together.
On the road,
an ordinary road,
any road like any other,
yet unlike any other.
He's alive!
is it possible?
You see him!
Hurry, on the road again...
What will you tell the others?
Peace.
Guided Meditation (not mine!)
It looks like any other road
this road that we are walking today.
I invite you to close your eyes
sit up straight with your feet on the floor,
be comfortable.
Breathe in deeply, and out slowly.
Do you see the road?
What kind of road is it?
What do you see?
What do you hear?
Are there other people on the road?
What is the weather like?
How fast do you want to walk today?
Leave the city, one foot in front of the other,
sandals patting down dust,
even as grief washes from head to toe.
Nothing went the way we thought.
And today's news is even more unbelievable than last week's.
alive?
is it possible?
why can't I see him?
One foot in front of the other,
walking home,
on just another road,
any road - it doesn't matter now.
Nothing matters - no journey will ever be the same without him.
but where is he?
Just another road,
like any other road.
Can you see it?
One foot in front of the other,
on the road again,
but alone this time.
A stranger comes alongside you.
Do you talk to strangers?
He walks near you for a ways,
in comfortable silence...
and then asks the question:
what are you thinking about?
What will you tell him?
What are you thinking about?
It's been an amazing three years -
healings,
miracles,
parables,
feeding people,
restoring community,
telling stories,
loving outcasts.
Which story to tell?
Think of your favorite story about Jesus.
Tell is to this stranger as you walk along this dusty road,
one foot in front of the other.
...
This stranger listens well,
he asks questions,
he nods in all the right places,
and he can tell that the story makes you both excited and sad.
As you finish telling your story,
you mention that it doesn't make much sense.
Things seemed to be going so well until that last night,
that last dinner,
that Passover Party.
That's when the real questions began.
Sure, other things didn't always make sense...
but broken body, life poured out,
arrested,
beaten,
crucified,
killed...
and now alive again?
...
The stranger looks at you as you walk down the road,
thinking out loud.
What are your questions?
Keep wondering out loud together as you walk,
one foot in front of the other,
through the dust,
wondering.
...
As you come to the end of your questions,
your voice trails off
and both of you stare down the road,
walking slowly together.
Then this stranger begins to tell a story of his own...
but it's a story you know well,
except this time it begins to make a little bit of sense.
Just a little bit.
Grief and confusion are still there,
but now there's something new...
something warm...
something blooming in the desert.
Listen -
what story is he telling you?
...
As he finishes his story,
you look up and realize you're almost home.
You've just met this strange man,
this storyteller,
this listener,
this fellow traveler,
but you invite him in for dinner.
There's something about him...
As you sit down at the table,
he offers thanks for a journey safely completed,
for new friends,
for hospitality,
for a simple meal of bread and cheese.
and as he takes some bread and offers you a piece,
you see.
He's been with you all along,
transforming the journey,
making it part of the story,
part of God's story,
part of our journey together.
On the road,
an ordinary road,
any road like any other,
yet unlike any other.
He's alive!
is it possible?
You see him!
Hurry, on the road again...
What will you tell the others?
Peace.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Courage Under Persecution
Happy Easter! I read today's readings and didn't really care for the first one. Something about the last phrase, "And about three thousand persons were added that say" seems more like cattle in a county fair than baptized people in a community. It makes me wonder: did the early disciples see it as a transformative experience, or was it all about the numbers? Surely it was a mix of both: more numbers means more legitimation, and more legitimation means less persecution. But I wonder if Christians today get caught up in the number of people they're "saving", and lose sight of the bigger picture. We're not even the ones who do the saving. God does the saving. We're supposed to be the ones who point the way to that power. I always try to keep that in mind when I'm doing my youth ministry. It's very tempting to take credit when a young person has a conversion experience, or when you can boast that your youth group does the most activities in a year. But in the end, it's not really about what WE do. It's what GOD does. We need to remember that we are just the clay in the hands of the potter. We are malleable and usable and willing to become whatever God calls us to be. If we are instrumental in spreading God's goodness throughout our communities, good. But we shouldn't be acting like we're doing it all on our own.
The second reading is one of my favorites for the Easter season. It's when Mary Magdalene discovers the empty tomb and then demands the "gardener" to reveal where he has laid Jesus. Mary Magdalene may be my favorite character in the Bible (apart from Jesus) simply because of her moral courage. The Church has finally cleared up her name and no longer holds that she was the same prostitute from the stoning episode, but she still doesn't have the same respect that is due her. She sees a man who she believes is the gardener, and she has the moxie to ask him where he has put Jesus, so that she can take care of his body. A woman! Asking a total stranger! She was upset and probably came across as being accusatory, so she probably wasn't the most polite at this time. But as soon as she realizes that it's Jesus, she crumples in the most beautiful symbol of devotion and love. She calls him "Rabbouni", which means "teacher." And when I read that, I imagine it as something she would call a close friend, someone she loved. It's a beautiful moment of realization for her, and it probably transformed her even more than she already had experienced.
And what's more: after seeing Jesus, she runs back and tells the apostles about the Resurrection. Not many would have believed her, and she was risking her own sanity and safety by spreading this news. But she did it because she saw the bigger picture. I hope that I can be brave in my faith, and that I won't be afraid to tell others about the joy of the Resurrection. May we all have bold courage like Mary Magdalene, and may we always see Jesus in a new way that has us overflowing in joy and excitement.
Peace.
The second reading is one of my favorites for the Easter season. It's when Mary Magdalene discovers the empty tomb and then demands the "gardener" to reveal where he has laid Jesus. Mary Magdalene may be my favorite character in the Bible (apart from Jesus) simply because of her moral courage. The Church has finally cleared up her name and no longer holds that she was the same prostitute from the stoning episode, but she still doesn't have the same respect that is due her. She sees a man who she believes is the gardener, and she has the moxie to ask him where he has put Jesus, so that she can take care of his body. A woman! Asking a total stranger! She was upset and probably came across as being accusatory, so she probably wasn't the most polite at this time. But as soon as she realizes that it's Jesus, she crumples in the most beautiful symbol of devotion and love. She calls him "Rabbouni", which means "teacher." And when I read that, I imagine it as something she would call a close friend, someone she loved. It's a beautiful moment of realization for her, and it probably transformed her even more than she already had experienced.
And what's more: after seeing Jesus, she runs back and tells the apostles about the Resurrection. Not many would have believed her, and she was risking her own sanity and safety by spreading this news. But she did it because she saw the bigger picture. I hope that I can be brave in my faith, and that I won't be afraid to tell others about the joy of the Resurrection. May we all have bold courage like Mary Magdalene, and may we always see Jesus in a new way that has us overflowing in joy and excitement.
Peace.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
New Life
1 On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. 2 They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, 3 but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. 4 While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. 5 In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? 6 He is not here; he has risen!"
This is my favorite epic story of all time. It illuminates for us our deepest hopes and dreams coming true. What was dead...is now alive! And it's not just a story about a guy who came back to life. We, too, are born anew. We, too, are a new creation. We, too, are given another opportunity to grow in relationship with our great God. Easter has always been my favorite holiday because it illustrates the hope for the world.
My other favorite part of this story is that He appeared to the WOMEN! This is noticeably different than say, every other narrative of that time, since women were seen as creatures barely above animals. But Jesus specifically appeared to the women because they were the ones who stayed. When all his disciples fled and ran into hiding for fear of persecution, the women stayed because they knew that they had a job to do. The women risked their lives out of love for their Lord. And Jesus recognized their good faith. I hope that I can be like Mary Magdalene and have the courage to tell others about the great miracle I have seen. Bravo to those brave ladies!
Happy Easter, everyone. Go and spread Christ's love to all you meet.
Peace.
This is my favorite epic story of all time. It illuminates for us our deepest hopes and dreams coming true. What was dead...is now alive! And it's not just a story about a guy who came back to life. We, too, are born anew. We, too, are a new creation. We, too, are given another opportunity to grow in relationship with our great God. Easter has always been my favorite holiday because it illustrates the hope for the world.
My other favorite part of this story is that He appeared to the WOMEN! This is noticeably different than say, every other narrative of that time, since women were seen as creatures barely above animals. But Jesus specifically appeared to the women because they were the ones who stayed. When all his disciples fled and ran into hiding for fear of persecution, the women stayed because they knew that they had a job to do. The women risked their lives out of love for their Lord. And Jesus recognized their good faith. I hope that I can be like Mary Magdalene and have the courage to tell others about the great miracle I have seen. Bravo to those brave ladies!
Happy Easter, everyone. Go and spread Christ's love to all you meet.
Peace.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
He Gave Me My Name
Because this is Holy Week, the Gospel reading today is a very well-known one: Jesus is reclining at table with his disciples during the Passover meal, and he initiates what is to come: that one of his beloved followers will soon betray him, and that he will be handed over, tortured, and crucified. And as much as Judas denies this betrayal and as much as the other disciples swear to stand by Jesus, we all know how the story goes. Judas betrays, the others abandon. The story seems to lost all hope. Luckily for us, we have about 2,000 years of experience to know that this was NOT the end of the story, but the beginning. After the deepest experience of rejection comes the most profound experience of rebirth and new life. And that's what makes the tough stuff so much more bearable.
I really like the first reading, too. It's taken from Isaiah, and the author is speaking to the great mercy and presence of God. "The Lord called me from birth, from my mother's womb he called me by name." How beautiful! We are a part of God's heart from our very beginnings. In fact, even before we are born...we are His. I would argue that Judas also held this beautiful title, even if he didn't know it or appreciate it. God loves us all so deeply, that it doesn't matter what we do because it can never separate us from that love. We can be nothing short of angels or the worst betrayer, but we are all equally perfect in God's eyes.
Though I thought I had toiled in vain,
and for nothing, uselessly, spent my strength,
Yet my reward is with the Lord,
my recompense is with my God.
This reminds me of the road to Emmaus. The disciples "thought" that Jesus had been the one to redeem Israel, but their hope had left them. The prophet Isaiah thought that his pain and suffering was for nothing. The disciples thought that Jesus was dead. They thought that it had all become useless. Yet...there is more to the story. My roommate gave me an inspirational quote that paraphrases something like this: "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it turned into a butterfly." What an amazing idea. It is at our lowest point, the dark nights of the soul, where God swoops in and takes over. It's only when we cannot do it anymore on our own that the Spirit rushes in.
There's something great about God taking over at the last second, like a final surprise act. If God had just taken over from the beginning, I feel like we would lose a lot of our gratitude. We wouldn't realize everything that God has done for us, and the message would get messed up. We would then EXPECT God to do everything so that we didn't have to. But no. We have to be willing to work and sacrifice and suffer a little bit, so that God can save us from that suffering. Some people may find that crazy, and I would never justify evil acts so that people can "learn valuable lessons" about the ways of the world. But I love how God lets us experience a little bit of our own humanity before making all things new. It enables us to grow without even knowing it. Now that's a good teacher.
Keep enjoying Holy Week. Be open to the workings of the Spirit.
Peace,
Liz
I really like the first reading, too. It's taken from Isaiah, and the author is speaking to the great mercy and presence of God. "The Lord called me from birth, from my mother's womb he called me by name." How beautiful! We are a part of God's heart from our very beginnings. In fact, even before we are born...we are His. I would argue that Judas also held this beautiful title, even if he didn't know it or appreciate it. God loves us all so deeply, that it doesn't matter what we do because it can never separate us from that love. We can be nothing short of angels or the worst betrayer, but we are all equally perfect in God's eyes.
Though I thought I had toiled in vain,
and for nothing, uselessly, spent my strength,
Yet my reward is with the Lord,
my recompense is with my God.
This reminds me of the road to Emmaus. The disciples "thought" that Jesus had been the one to redeem Israel, but their hope had left them. The prophet Isaiah thought that his pain and suffering was for nothing. The disciples thought that Jesus was dead. They thought that it had all become useless. Yet...there is more to the story. My roommate gave me an inspirational quote that paraphrases something like this: "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it turned into a butterfly." What an amazing idea. It is at our lowest point, the dark nights of the soul, where God swoops in and takes over. It's only when we cannot do it anymore on our own that the Spirit rushes in.
There's something great about God taking over at the last second, like a final surprise act. If God had just taken over from the beginning, I feel like we would lose a lot of our gratitude. We wouldn't realize everything that God has done for us, and the message would get messed up. We would then EXPECT God to do everything so that we didn't have to. But no. We have to be willing to work and sacrifice and suffer a little bit, so that God can save us from that suffering. Some people may find that crazy, and I would never justify evil acts so that people can "learn valuable lessons" about the ways of the world. But I love how God lets us experience a little bit of our own humanity before making all things new. It enables us to grow without even knowing it. Now that's a good teacher.
Keep enjoying Holy Week. Be open to the workings of the Spirit.
Peace,
Liz
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Holy Week
Holy Week is one of my favorite times of the whole year. Believe it or not, I actually prefer Easter to Christmas! I'm a bad consumer, I guess. I have loved Easter especially over the last few years because they have always seemed to be a time of great healing and contemplation for me. The Paschal Mystery is a thread that seems to run through the undercurrents of my life lately, and I can relate very deeply to it. The idea of dying to self, or dying to the hurt, or the pain, or to weakness...in order for us to be reborn in Christ's love...how beautiful is that?! It's probably my one of my favorite aspects of Christian theology, and I really do love how Catholicism takes it pretty seriously.
Tonight I was reflecting on Palm Sunday, and where I was a year ago today. I was listening to the Palm Sunday Mass at my alma mater, given by my favorite professor who also happens to be a friar. I can't honestly say that I remember what he said during his message, but I can remember the feeling of peace and serenity that came with that Mass, and the feeling of being totally and completely at home. I also remember feeling sad that my time with that community was quickly coming to an end, so my Holy Week was, once again, deeply personal as I died to that part of my life and my experience.
It got me thinking tonight about how our life experiences change so quickly. Last year, I was being ministered to and all I had to do was sit back and listen. This year, I was giving a major witness talk about my life to a group of high school seniors, and helping to plan and execute a Living Stations of the Cross to a gathering of over 100 people. God was clearly working through both experiences, but this year, I was on the front lines of the ministry. I miss being ministered to, but it's been an important learning experience this year to be the one doing the ministry. It's what I'm called to, so I am grateful for it. It's certainly not always easy...but it's where my heart's at, so it's worth it.
I realize that I am almost entirely driven by emotion when it comes to these reflections. Then again, Holy Week is also very emotion-driven. Non-Catholics often criticize the Church for guilt-tripping people through the week, making them feel awful for crucifying Christ. I can understand that accusation, but I actually appreciate the emotional connection that we make to Scripture. It's one thing to read it, and it's quite another to see it acted out, meditate on it, sing about it, etc. There are many things that I do not appreciate about the Church, but I commend it on its ability to deeply appreciate and love the sacrifice that Christ made, and that it's something that is not taken lightly or easily forgotten.
To close, I'll post a quote that I wrote up today for the ministry website: "“My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?” This famous scripture reveals the deep hurt and pain that Jesus endured while dying on the cross for us. Fully human and fully divine, Jesus understood all too well the feeling of being abandoned and rejected. We, as Christians, can place our trust in the love of Christ, who emptied Himself to the point of death for us. This Holy Week, I am trying to be more prayerfully aware of Christ's great sacrifice for me and for all humanity."
Peace to you all during this Holy Week.
Liz
Tonight I was reflecting on Palm Sunday, and where I was a year ago today. I was listening to the Palm Sunday Mass at my alma mater, given by my favorite professor who also happens to be a friar. I can't honestly say that I remember what he said during his message, but I can remember the feeling of peace and serenity that came with that Mass, and the feeling of being totally and completely at home. I also remember feeling sad that my time with that community was quickly coming to an end, so my Holy Week was, once again, deeply personal as I died to that part of my life and my experience.
It got me thinking tonight about how our life experiences change so quickly. Last year, I was being ministered to and all I had to do was sit back and listen. This year, I was giving a major witness talk about my life to a group of high school seniors, and helping to plan and execute a Living Stations of the Cross to a gathering of over 100 people. God was clearly working through both experiences, but this year, I was on the front lines of the ministry. I miss being ministered to, but it's been an important learning experience this year to be the one doing the ministry. It's what I'm called to, so I am grateful for it. It's certainly not always easy...but it's where my heart's at, so it's worth it.
I realize that I am almost entirely driven by emotion when it comes to these reflections. Then again, Holy Week is also very emotion-driven. Non-Catholics often criticize the Church for guilt-tripping people through the week, making them feel awful for crucifying Christ. I can understand that accusation, but I actually appreciate the emotional connection that we make to Scripture. It's one thing to read it, and it's quite another to see it acted out, meditate on it, sing about it, etc. There are many things that I do not appreciate about the Church, but I commend it on its ability to deeply appreciate and love the sacrifice that Christ made, and that it's something that is not taken lightly or easily forgotten.
To close, I'll post a quote that I wrote up today for the ministry website: "“My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?” This famous scripture reveals the deep hurt and pain that Jesus endured while dying on the cross for us. Fully human and fully divine, Jesus understood all too well the feeling of being abandoned and rejected. We, as Christians, can place our trust in the love of Christ, who emptied Himself to the point of death for us. This Holy Week, I am trying to be more prayerfully aware of Christ's great sacrifice for me and for all humanity."
Peace to you all during this Holy Week.
Liz
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The One Who Sent Me is With Me
Today's Gospel reading is one of my current favorites. It's not something that I usually think about, but it struck a chord with me today, so I'd like to share it. Let me preface this by saying that the first readings talks about the people complaining in the desert about how God had seemingly abandoned them...and then God sent a serpent to kill a whole bunch of them for their insolence. Nice. Not exactly what I imagine my good, loving, "Christian" God to act like. Then again, I wonder how I would feel if my children only complained about the food and the atmosphere after I saved their lives. I would probably be angry, too. The moral of the story is that they repent, and God resurrects those who He had killed.
This brings us to the Gospel (John 8:21-30). Jesus is speaking about his divine origination as the Son of God, something that happens most often in the Gospel of John and almost never in the other three Gospels. Jesus is telling his disciples, "Where I am going, you cannot come." This made them immediately think that Jesus was contemplating suicide, since that would probably cause him to go to hell, according to Jewish tradition. But instead, Jesus launches into this discussion about how He does not belong to "this world." Instead, he belongs to His Father's Kingdom.
Jesus had every opportunity to take advantage of his audience, here. He had fame, He had the power of persuasion, and He had the listening ears of hundreds and even thousands of eager followers. He could have made a statement right then and there that He was the autonomous God, and that He derived His power from no other source. But that's not what he does. He uses his advantage to point to the One who gave Him every kind of power. He points to God. "I do nothing on my own, but I say only what the Father has taught me." Wow. That's humility at its finest, if I ever saw it. I am realizing as a youth minister that it is not always easy to point everything back to God. I have experienced moments of weakness, where I let my pride speak for me, instead of letting the Spirit speak for me. There are times when I want to take credit for the great witness talk I wrote, or for the awesome youth group meeting I just planned. But deep down inside, I know that I would be nowhere without God. And Jesus realized this, too.
"The one who sent me is with me." What a beautiful phrase. We are sent by God, but we are never abandoned. God doesn't send us out into the world to do His bidding so that He can sit back and watch us be fed to the wolves. Instead, God sends us and then STAYS with us. God is present in the deepest part of our human experience: through the most profound joys as well as the most inexplicable pain. what an extraordinary concept. Maybe that's why God was so angry at the Israelites in the desert. They had forgotten where they came from. They had forgotten that God was providing everything to them, and that they didn't need to be complaining. Maybe we're all a little guilty of that. I don't think that complaining is always the worst thing we can do. Sometimes, it's the only thing we can do because something just doesn't seem fair. But these readings remind us that God has never abandoned us, and everything we have...we owe back to God.
Think about that next time you want to blame God for an unfortunate circumstance. If you are working through the muck with a trusting heart, then you're probably doing it right. And no one's perfect. I find myself trusting God completely some days, and on other days...well, it's a different story. But I've learned to take my own spiritual journey a day at a time, and it seems to be going pretty well so far.
"If God seems distant, who moved?" Recognize the work of God in your life, and stay faithful to that reality. And maybe the complaining will slow down after all.
Peace.
This brings us to the Gospel (John 8:21-30). Jesus is speaking about his divine origination as the Son of God, something that happens most often in the Gospel of John and almost never in the other three Gospels. Jesus is telling his disciples, "Where I am going, you cannot come." This made them immediately think that Jesus was contemplating suicide, since that would probably cause him to go to hell, according to Jewish tradition. But instead, Jesus launches into this discussion about how He does not belong to "this world." Instead, he belongs to His Father's Kingdom.
Jesus had every opportunity to take advantage of his audience, here. He had fame, He had the power of persuasion, and He had the listening ears of hundreds and even thousands of eager followers. He could have made a statement right then and there that He was the autonomous God, and that He derived His power from no other source. But that's not what he does. He uses his advantage to point to the One who gave Him every kind of power. He points to God. "I do nothing on my own, but I say only what the Father has taught me." Wow. That's humility at its finest, if I ever saw it. I am realizing as a youth minister that it is not always easy to point everything back to God. I have experienced moments of weakness, where I let my pride speak for me, instead of letting the Spirit speak for me. There are times when I want to take credit for the great witness talk I wrote, or for the awesome youth group meeting I just planned. But deep down inside, I know that I would be nowhere without God. And Jesus realized this, too.
"The one who sent me is with me." What a beautiful phrase. We are sent by God, but we are never abandoned. God doesn't send us out into the world to do His bidding so that He can sit back and watch us be fed to the wolves. Instead, God sends us and then STAYS with us. God is present in the deepest part of our human experience: through the most profound joys as well as the most inexplicable pain. what an extraordinary concept. Maybe that's why God was so angry at the Israelites in the desert. They had forgotten where they came from. They had forgotten that God was providing everything to them, and that they didn't need to be complaining. Maybe we're all a little guilty of that. I don't think that complaining is always the worst thing we can do. Sometimes, it's the only thing we can do because something just doesn't seem fair. But these readings remind us that God has never abandoned us, and everything we have...we owe back to God.
Think about that next time you want to blame God for an unfortunate circumstance. If you are working through the muck with a trusting heart, then you're probably doing it right. And no one's perfect. I find myself trusting God completely some days, and on other days...well, it's a different story. But I've learned to take my own spiritual journey a day at a time, and it seems to be going pretty well so far.
"If God seems distant, who moved?" Recognize the work of God in your life, and stay faithful to that reality. And maybe the complaining will slow down after all.
Peace.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
God's Work!
It has been a fantastic weekend, and I'm feeling really grateful for a lot of reasons. A few weeks ago, my uncle had major surgery for long cancer, and last week my brother and I went to visit him in the SICU. I was pretty apprehensive about it, since I knew it might be a little awkward and a little scary seeing my uncle with tubes coming out of him. Even though my parents are nurses and I'm generally comfortable with hospitals, I've never really had to see a family member in the hospital. Anyway, I'm really glad that I ended up visiting. We had small talk, and my uncle was a very good sport about it all. He's usually the first to complain about something, but he seemed to be much calmer, knowing that his life was in someone else's hands. It was an interesting thing to witness. I felt a closeness to and a gratitude for his presence, and it's been a long time coming.
Then on Friday, I helped cook breakfast and lunch for the girls' retreat, which was great. I always get a lot of joy out of serving meals, and the gratitude that they had for the volunteers was overwhelming. It reinforced my ministry for me, which was a good feeling. Friday night, I got to spend some time at home and dress shopping with my mother and sister. Then, Saturday my sister and I spent the whole day together, walking around town and then going to a concert together. Lastly, this afternoon, I went to her dance recital, which was bittersweet for me. I used to be a dancer, and it was a little sad to see my baby sister in her very last dance recital. It was a cool moment, though.
The best part of the weekend, however, was my youth group meeting tonight. One of my girls was on the retreat this weekend, and I was a little nervous that she wouldn't get anything out of it. She doesn't usually speak during meetings, and she doesn't ever seem very interested in what we're doing, so I wasn't sure what a 4-day encounter style retreat would do for her. But here's the amazing thing: she wouldn't shut up about it! She was telling EVERYONE about how awesome the retreat was, and how she grew to love her "sisters" in Christ...and how she finally felt how deeply God loved her.
Wow! Here I am, worrying that she wouldn't like the retreat, and God surprises me again. He worked through the team, the people mentoring her, and the elements of the retreat to speak to her. She felt His love and His presence, and it was so beautiful to hear her reflect on it. When she talked about the retreat, her eyes lit up. It was like the Spirit came alive in her. It was such a proud moment for me as a youth minister, seeing a transformation like that. It made me remember my first retreat, and how the Spirit worked through me. I remember telling MY youth group about it, and trying to explain the unexplainable. It was a great moment for me, and I felt like she and I bonded over this experience...even though I wasn't on the retreat, I understood what she felt, because I've felt it before. And the best part is that she is now planning on attending a leadership training retreat so that she can be on the next retreat as a leader. And she wants to do our summer mission trip, too.
God is so, so good. That's really the point of this post. I so often forget that God works wonders in our lives. And it's not always a big deal...sometimes, it's the little things. I felt the presence of God both at my sister's dance recital and during youth group tonight. I feel it on the top of a mountain overlooking the Hudson Valley while also feeling it serving food to hungry retreatants. That's the beauty of God: He is everywhere. Not only is He everywhere: He just Is. He is the underlying current supporting our very humble human experience. God is the peace in the storm while at the same time being the catalyst that begins a spiritual revolution.
That's a God that I believe in. And He is good...all the time. May you see the presence of God in the ordinary and extraordinary of your lives.
Peace.
Then on Friday, I helped cook breakfast and lunch for the girls' retreat, which was great. I always get a lot of joy out of serving meals, and the gratitude that they had for the volunteers was overwhelming. It reinforced my ministry for me, which was a good feeling. Friday night, I got to spend some time at home and dress shopping with my mother and sister. Then, Saturday my sister and I spent the whole day together, walking around town and then going to a concert together. Lastly, this afternoon, I went to her dance recital, which was bittersweet for me. I used to be a dancer, and it was a little sad to see my baby sister in her very last dance recital. It was a cool moment, though.
The best part of the weekend, however, was my youth group meeting tonight. One of my girls was on the retreat this weekend, and I was a little nervous that she wouldn't get anything out of it. She doesn't usually speak during meetings, and she doesn't ever seem very interested in what we're doing, so I wasn't sure what a 4-day encounter style retreat would do for her. But here's the amazing thing: she wouldn't shut up about it! She was telling EVERYONE about how awesome the retreat was, and how she grew to love her "sisters" in Christ...and how she finally felt how deeply God loved her.
Wow! Here I am, worrying that she wouldn't like the retreat, and God surprises me again. He worked through the team, the people mentoring her, and the elements of the retreat to speak to her. She felt His love and His presence, and it was so beautiful to hear her reflect on it. When she talked about the retreat, her eyes lit up. It was like the Spirit came alive in her. It was such a proud moment for me as a youth minister, seeing a transformation like that. It made me remember my first retreat, and how the Spirit worked through me. I remember telling MY youth group about it, and trying to explain the unexplainable. It was a great moment for me, and I felt like she and I bonded over this experience...even though I wasn't on the retreat, I understood what she felt, because I've felt it before. And the best part is that she is now planning on attending a leadership training retreat so that she can be on the next retreat as a leader. And she wants to do our summer mission trip, too.
God is so, so good. That's really the point of this post. I so often forget that God works wonders in our lives. And it's not always a big deal...sometimes, it's the little things. I felt the presence of God both at my sister's dance recital and during youth group tonight. I feel it on the top of a mountain overlooking the Hudson Valley while also feeling it serving food to hungry retreatants. That's the beauty of God: He is everywhere. Not only is He everywhere: He just Is. He is the underlying current supporting our very humble human experience. God is the peace in the storm while at the same time being the catalyst that begins a spiritual revolution.
That's a God that I believe in. And He is good...all the time. May you see the presence of God in the ordinary and extraordinary of your lives.
Peace.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
DO NOT WORRY!!
It's been a few days since my last post and I apologize for that (even though no one is really reading this...) I just spent the last three days in the great city of Boston, exploring the place where I will be spending the next three years as a student at BC. I have to say that I was very impressed, and I'm really starting to get excited for the next chapter in my life.
A lot of what we talked about were specifics about living in Boston, i.e. apartment hunting, paying rent, financial aid, laundry and groceries, etc. It's all a pretty new concept to me since my undergraduate experience was in rural Western NY with ample parking, low costs, and little traffic. This will all be a new experience for me, and I would be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous about it. I tend to get very stressed about the little details. It's in these moments that I worry if God is really as big as my problems.
We are called to leave our worries behind, and to not worry about what we will eat and drink and wear and where we will live. But forgive me if I don't believe that God will suddenly come down from heaven and give me rent money. I have faith that God will give me the opportunities that will allow me to support myself, but it doesn't stop me from stressing out. I think that the next six months are going to be a really big test of my faith.
There's not really a big spiritual lesson in this post. I'm just thinking and musing and praying. "Be still and know that I AM God."
Peace.
A lot of what we talked about were specifics about living in Boston, i.e. apartment hunting, paying rent, financial aid, laundry and groceries, etc. It's all a pretty new concept to me since my undergraduate experience was in rural Western NY with ample parking, low costs, and little traffic. This will all be a new experience for me, and I would be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous about it. I tend to get very stressed about the little details. It's in these moments that I worry if God is really as big as my problems.
We are called to leave our worries behind, and to not worry about what we will eat and drink and wear and where we will live. But forgive me if I don't believe that God will suddenly come down from heaven and give me rent money. I have faith that God will give me the opportunities that will allow me to support myself, but it doesn't stop me from stressing out. I think that the next six months are going to be a really big test of my faith.
There's not really a big spiritual lesson in this post. I'm just thinking and musing and praying. "Be still and know that I AM God."
Peace.
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